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gadgets
1. If being chased through the city, usually can take cover in the parade on St. Patrick’s Day passing – at any time of year.
2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman’s waist, but only on the man lying beside her.
3. All shopping bags of groceries contain at least one loaf of French bread.
4. Once applied, lipstick will not be erased – even while scuba diving.
5. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hideaway. No one will think of looking for you there and you can travel anywhere in the building without difficulty.
6. If you want to pass as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent is enough.
7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
9. By paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take a note – just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact amount.
10. If you lose a hand, which will cause the stump of his arm to grow about 15 cm.
11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for the family every morning, but never the husband and children have time to eat.
12. Cars and trucks that crash almost always on fire.
13. A single match is enough to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
15. All single women have a cat.
16. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit upright and pant.
17. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
18. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
19. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings – especially if any of your relatives or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
20. No matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have removed from its predecessor.
21. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of dealing with the person speaking, it is common that are behind them and talk to her back.
22. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
23. Dogs always know who is bad and will naturally bark at them.
24. When they are alone, foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
25. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes escape.
26. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son’s eighth birthday.
27. Many musical instruments, especially wind instruments and accordions – can be played without moving your fingers.
28. All pumps are equipped with electronic control devices with large red readings so you know exactly when they will explode.
29. It is always possible to park right next to the building you are visiting.
30. A detective only solve a case once it has been suspended from duty.
31. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
1. When people see that you are lying down, eyes still closed ask:Are you asleep?
No! I’m trying to die.
2. When it rains, and you realize that someone, they ask, are youout with this rain?
No, in the next century.
3.The friend calls on the phone: Hey where are you?
On the bus!
4. They see you wet bath: Do you just take a bath?
No, I fell in the toilet!
5. I was standing right in front of the elevator to the topgroundfloorand?
No, no, waiting to return home parent.
6. You bring a bouquet of flowers for his girlfriend, and I wonder: Are these flowers?
Baby do not! The islands.
7. I was in line to buy tickets at the cinema, and a friend who sawand ask: What are you doing here?
I’m here to pay school fees.
Facebook can be a great way to meet women. It can also be a great way to completely destroy any chance you might have had with a woman.
That’s why there are several rules you must follow to ensure that there is e-sabotaging your relationships. For example, if your firm involves Farmville romantic gesture, you are not following the rules.
Remember these dos and don’ts of using Facebook, while the citations, however, and we guarantee you will experience less defriendings and pushes.
DON’T friend her too soon
There are plenty of creepy guys flipping through Facebook photos and send friend requests from hot girls. Do not be one of them. If you send a friend request before I had a talk or presentation, to be weirded out. If the date is a set-up, not your friend before you meet. And if I knew they were out one night, make sure that really gave his name before sending a friend request. A good rule of thumb: If you have your phone number, you can be your friend on Facebook.
Do not overlook
Ever get a strange woman in real life to get your attention? So do not do online. It is not flirtatious. In fact, women think that means it is too cowardly to actually say hello.
Do NOT make a nuisance of yourself
If you are not answering your message private, instant messages IM someone they have not been contacted prior to – or a comment to the wall, do not bother. Let him respond.
Assume that everyone knows who is in Facebook
We refer to the whole world, his grandmother, his niece, his boss.This means that you can not write something inappropriate on the wall or a label on a photo of your criminality. If you feel ashamed in front of important people, you can kiss your chances with your goodbye.
DO be real
The fact that it was discovered that the rock is indie and foreign films by the drag of its information page does not mean you should pretend to be in the same or be the first to open is better left to tell about their interests organically.
Do it off-line
Facebook can be a great way to link or to make some difficult early stages of a relationship a little less. But use it sparingly, if electronically interact much at first, becomes more difficult to establish their relationship in person.





























reference - http://www.undergraddegree.org